A client recently asked to tune in to the Higher Self of her significant other. Her question was:

What can I do to better support you and what do you need from me?

I loved his response so much that I am posting it here.

Her significant other said that one of his soul’s goals at this phase of his life was to achieve a sense of self-sufficiency. He said that while he appreciated all of the many ways she anticipated and tended to his needs, he really wanted to move forward in the direction of learning to tend to his own stuff.

He said that their partnership is a true blessing to him…that it is allowing him the space of self-discovery because she is also on a similar path with the desire to understand herself better and learn to respond to her own needs.

I appreciate this message. It is a reminder to me of how often I jump to attend to the needs of others (even if they are only ‘perceived needs’) without taking a moment to ask myself a few important questions:

  1. Is this action of service I’m about to take based on my own need to be needed?
  2. Is this action of service I’m about to take a way for me to avoid turning my attention to my own needs?
  3. If I did turn my attention to my own needs in this moment, what would I feel guided to do? And, am I willing to direct my service inwards and meet those needs at this moment?

It is a beautiful thing to be generous with one’s time, spirit, energy, and focus.  It is something else entirely when we direct all (or most) of our attention to tending to the perceived needs of others.

Selflessness is highly valued in this culture. However, in my experience, selflessness leads to burnout, overwhelm, frustration, fatigue, and resentment. Rather than hold ourselves to the impossible standards of meeting the needs of others, why not hold ourselves to the attainable standard of meeting our own needs with love, acceptance, and compassion.

What do you think?

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